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I have been really worried lately.
I feel like things are on the edge. I really want to serve God but I'm finding that this is not always easy. there are many times in a person's life where they have to make a choice between preserving what they now have in their hands and risking it all by doing the right thing.
I do not believe that God has led me all this way just so that I can become blinded by comfort and security. what I do believe is that He has led me to this point in my life so that I may choose Him above everything.
Yesterday I was so worried about a document that requires my signature on it. The thing that worries me is that I may be asked to sign my name in support of things which I believe are contrary to the Word of God. In effect I would be asked to say that right is wrong and wrong is right. Refusing to sign this will in all likelihood caused me to be removed from a part of my job that I hold very dear. This would cause a chain effect and I will have to quit without any prospect in sight of being able to contribute to the economical well-being of my family.
The choice is once again between comfort and security.
But one thing that I know about God is that those who are steadfast and committed to doing that which is right in His eyes can count on God's help and guidance. this is not the case for those who choose to oppose Him or being deceived they wrongly assume that He will not react in accordance with what He has said.
I guess that as I reflect upon this I understand that greater is He that is in me than that which is in the world. He is my light, my sword, my strong fortress and shield and therefore I need not be afraid or tremble at the threats of others. The Lord will be my avenger.
I have come to to the realization that as He has called me, He must lead me. I cast my lot in His hands and there I will stay until Judgment Day.
I am proud to be a child of God. His word is true and teaches us about the life the please Him. I will not fear a document nor the bad theology of those with more power than myself. I will trust in the Lord and follow Him. I will live for Him and if I am wrong then He shall discipline and correct me so that I may live.
God is great
peace on your heads
Friday, August 29, 2008
Sunday, August 24, 2008
25 aug 2008
i have been working way too much. I wish that I could slow down but ...
everyone is trying to get me to do less but that doesn't work for me. what does work is that we were a few more who could help out. it's about others taking some responsibility.
i understand what Jesus meant when we said the laborers are few. I really wish that God would just open my eyes so that i could see the laborers. I would invite them to the harvest and then together we would reap a great harvest as directed by the Lord of the harvest.
I believe that the time is now for us to go out and spread the Gospel of Christ to all of Uppsala. we should not delay any longer.
may this day be lived in such a way that God is pleased and glorified
peace
everyone is trying to get me to do less but that doesn't work for me. what does work is that we were a few more who could help out. it's about others taking some responsibility.
i understand what Jesus meant when we said the laborers are few. I really wish that God would just open my eyes so that i could see the laborers. I would invite them to the harvest and then together we would reap a great harvest as directed by the Lord of the harvest.
I believe that the time is now for us to go out and spread the Gospel of Christ to all of Uppsala. we should not delay any longer.
may this day be lived in such a way that God is pleased and glorified
peace
Friday, August 22, 2008
svårt att be - difficult to pray
this week I had really wanted to pray, but I never seem to get around to it.
I find that this is one of the real challenges of being a priest.
When I was in seminary I always looked down on the visiting priests who talked about how little time they had for preparation and individual devotion. I was so certain that I was not going to end up like them.
the truth is that I am like them. I am so inundated with paper work that I often don't make time for prayer. things keep popping up. there is alway something else that needs to be signed or a conversation that needs to take place. It is so difficult that many times I just give up.
I have every intention of this term being different but so far it has still been too many days where I have planned on praying but then I never make it. Sometimes I think that it might be better if we there were a few others who would like to pray with me. Even this is difficult. many of my Christian friends don't have time either.
this past Sunday we were a few who prayed and it was so "härligt" that is wonderful. I really enjoyed just spending time before God. I have truly missed it.
i wonder when did everything else become so important.
this has to change
I find that this is one of the real challenges of being a priest.
When I was in seminary I always looked down on the visiting priests who talked about how little time they had for preparation and individual devotion. I was so certain that I was not going to end up like them.
the truth is that I am like them. I am so inundated with paper work that I often don't make time for prayer. things keep popping up. there is alway something else that needs to be signed or a conversation that needs to take place. It is so difficult that many times I just give up.
I have every intention of this term being different but so far it has still been too many days where I have planned on praying but then I never make it. Sometimes I think that it might be better if we there were a few others who would like to pray with me. Even this is difficult. many of my Christian friends don't have time either.
this past Sunday we were a few who prayed and it was so "härligt" that is wonderful. I really enjoyed just spending time before God. I have truly missed it.
i wonder when did everything else become so important.
this has to change
Saturday, August 16, 2008
before i sleep
today I had a very interesting thing happen to me. I guess that lately I've been thinking a lot about that day in the future when each and every person will stand before the judgment seat of Jesus Christ to be judged according to what they have done here.
The problem is that there are so many people who falsely think that saying a sinner's prayer, while a good thing, is all that they have to do to get into heaven. what i mean by this is that the Christian faith is not the prayer. I don't think that saying the prayer should be a goal in itself. Sometimes you can hear Christian workers referring to the effectiveness of their work by making reference to things like how many people said the sinner's prayer, the number of people baptized this month, the number of people a new member's class or some other similar thing.
i guess that I have come to the conclusion that it is the long term fruit that is a better indication of what our impact is for the kingdom. I do not in any way wish to belittle the valuable work and the long hours that many evangelism oriented groups and individuals put into helping people across the threshold of faith. Without these people's dedication we would probably see a lot less people in church these days.
There are a group of young people, mostly boys, outside of our church who can make life very difficult and tiresome. Many people think that they should just start behaving better and start respecting our church and it's property. Sometimes I am so amazed by the fact that many people seem to think that doing right is just a matter of realizing that one is doing wrong and then making the appropriate corrections.
I feel that if I lay on the salesmanship really thick, I could get many of these guys to say a sinner's prayer. And for many people that would be such a great accomplish that it would be worthy of much praise. The problem is that the sinner's prayer cannot effect a changed nature in these guys. For the most part they know that what they have done and are doing are not the kinds of things that gets one into the presence of God for all of eternity. So many of them would, more than likely, say the sinner's prayer as a guarantee against spending all of eternity away from God's presence in hell. Many would wrongly think that they can now do as they please since having said the sinner's prayer forces God to let them into his kingdom.
What would be more fair to these guys is to tell them the whole story and not just inform them about the benefits. They need to know about taking up one's object of death and scorn on a daily basis and then being willing to follow Jesus Christ as their master. They would need to be informed about the cost factor. Once they have considered the cost then saying the sinner's prayer has a deeper foundation. The emphasis of the Christian worker is then to give them a balanced picture of what being a Christian is about. Fewer might make a decision to follow Jesus but more would be willing to live the radial life of a true follower of Jesus Christ.
Yes, I did say a true follower, meaning that there are false followers. Just look at their fruit. A tree can be very easily identified by its fruit. more about that later on.
peace on your head
Edward
The problem is that there are so many people who falsely think that saying a sinner's prayer, while a good thing, is all that they have to do to get into heaven. what i mean by this is that the Christian faith is not the prayer. I don't think that saying the prayer should be a goal in itself. Sometimes you can hear Christian workers referring to the effectiveness of their work by making reference to things like how many people said the sinner's prayer, the number of people baptized this month, the number of people a new member's class or some other similar thing.
i guess that I have come to the conclusion that it is the long term fruit that is a better indication of what our impact is for the kingdom. I do not in any way wish to belittle the valuable work and the long hours that many evangelism oriented groups and individuals put into helping people across the threshold of faith. Without these people's dedication we would probably see a lot less people in church these days.
There are a group of young people, mostly boys, outside of our church who can make life very difficult and tiresome. Many people think that they should just start behaving better and start respecting our church and it's property. Sometimes I am so amazed by the fact that many people seem to think that doing right is just a matter of realizing that one is doing wrong and then making the appropriate corrections.
I feel that if I lay on the salesmanship really thick, I could get many of these guys to say a sinner's prayer. And for many people that would be such a great accomplish that it would be worthy of much praise. The problem is that the sinner's prayer cannot effect a changed nature in these guys. For the most part they know that what they have done and are doing are not the kinds of things that gets one into the presence of God for all of eternity. So many of them would, more than likely, say the sinner's prayer as a guarantee against spending all of eternity away from God's presence in hell. Many would wrongly think that they can now do as they please since having said the sinner's prayer forces God to let them into his kingdom.
What would be more fair to these guys is to tell them the whole story and not just inform them about the benefits. They need to know about taking up one's object of death and scorn on a daily basis and then being willing to follow Jesus Christ as their master. They would need to be informed about the cost factor. Once they have considered the cost then saying the sinner's prayer has a deeper foundation. The emphasis of the Christian worker is then to give them a balanced picture of what being a Christian is about. Fewer might make a decision to follow Jesus but more would be willing to live the radial life of a true follower of Jesus Christ.
Yes, I did say a true follower, meaning that there are false followers. Just look at their fruit. A tree can be very easily identified by its fruit. more about that later on.
peace on your head
Edward
Monday, August 11, 2008
wow it's been a while
I have now been employed for two years but only 1½ years since my ordination.
I was so overwhelmed by the size and the responsibility of my job. It is still very large and difficult to manage but I believe that I am starting to grow into the position. My largest struggle has been living a life with Christ in the center. I have so many questions that has still gone unanswered, but I guess that this is part of the journey.
I believe so many things that go against Swedish society. My struggle is that I hate conflict so much that I often do say anything when maybe I should. I don't mean that I need to propagate my opinions just because I need to be right, but sometimes what is being said is not only wrong but it is influencing people and giving them false hope. I wonder how will I fare on judgment day?
today we have a group coming from France and I just now thought about them needing sleeping bags. I hope that they have thought of that on their own. i keep on making mistakes. i just wish that one day would go without a hitch, but then that would probably not be my life.
last week I was moaning about not being able to preach so often, when one of my young leaders helped me so see that preaching is not only done from the pulpit but is more often done when we meet others and do life with them. this was such a deep and important insight for me.
There are a lot of things to like about my job. i get to work both inside and outside of the church. I'm not limited to only one group of people. we have people who are far away from God, others who are struggling to find him, and a group who have decided to embrace the truth of God's word. This makes being a priest very exciting and keeps me guessing.
I hope that this day will be lived for Jesus. I must make sure that I have time to pray and read my Bible. We have guests coming to the church and there is a whole lot of planning that still needs to get done.
well I have to get to work.
I was so overwhelmed by the size and the responsibility of my job. It is still very large and difficult to manage but I believe that I am starting to grow into the position. My largest struggle has been living a life with Christ in the center. I have so many questions that has still gone unanswered, but I guess that this is part of the journey.
I believe so many things that go against Swedish society. My struggle is that I hate conflict so much that I often do say anything when maybe I should. I don't mean that I need to propagate my opinions just because I need to be right, but sometimes what is being said is not only wrong but it is influencing people and giving them false hope. I wonder how will I fare on judgment day?
today we have a group coming from France and I just now thought about them needing sleeping bags. I hope that they have thought of that on their own. i keep on making mistakes. i just wish that one day would go without a hitch, but then that would probably not be my life.
last week I was moaning about not being able to preach so often, when one of my young leaders helped me so see that preaching is not only done from the pulpit but is more often done when we meet others and do life with them. this was such a deep and important insight for me.
There are a lot of things to like about my job. i get to work both inside and outside of the church. I'm not limited to only one group of people. we have people who are far away from God, others who are struggling to find him, and a group who have decided to embrace the truth of God's word. This makes being a priest very exciting and keeps me guessing.
I hope that this day will be lived for Jesus. I must make sure that I have time to pray and read my Bible. We have guests coming to the church and there is a whole lot of planning that still needs to get done.
well I have to get to work.
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