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I have been thinking about my following of the food rules in Leviticus 11 this week. I guess that I am still surprised about how many people react so strongly to my decision. In Acts 10 and 11 Peter uses two Greek words koinos and akathartos.
If it were possible to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that the food laws are part of how God wants those who believe in Him to live, would people just change their eating habits? I doubt it. There is already so much which is so clear and yet people do not follow God's words.
oh well what can I do about it?
peace
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
reaffirmation
I really love the springtime in Sweden. After a long winter’s nap nature wakes up and bursts into a diversity of colors and shapes. The down side is the increasing numbers of daylight hours. I find it difficult to sleep.
I believe in creation and that makes me a priestly rarity. So many say that God is all-powerful, while maintaining that He is incapable of creating all this complicated life and diversity from nothing. I do not ascribe to the thought that it is intellectual suicide to believe in a six day creation by an all-powerful God, but quite the opposite.
The Heavens declare the glory of God. It is the very Nature that reveals God’s invisible attributes. Hmmmm just makes you want to go hmmmmmmmmm.
Every spring reaffirms this simple but very foundational truth for me.
peace
Friday, April 23, 2010
trust in action
this was a large demonstration of faith. I had to trust the ropes and my course instructor. It was very challenging. This is where I am at with God right now. I feel Him moving me in a certain direction but it is so scary. I know that He loves me and cares for me, but not it is time to put that into practice.
I don't know why I am so hesitant but I am. Just imagine the King of the Universe asking you to follow His path.
now I am on the course and I am scared out of my gourd. I know that the instructors did not want to hurt me but trusting them enough to let go of my fear was very difficult.
2 Sam 22:3
The God of my rock; in him will I trust: he is my shield, and the horn of my salvation, my high tower, and my refuge, my saviour; thou savest me from violence.
I want to be better at trusting God for the outcome. I know that it might be hard but I want to grow in this area.
this is my desire and prayer for this day
peace
Friday, April 16, 2010
do not be hard hearted
Today I am tired and frustrated and glad. I guess that this is the way life is for me. Now when I say this, it doesn't mean that life sucks or is bad. It just means that I feel many different things at the same time.
while I am writing this I am listening to a sermon by Bruce Cohen. His teaching has been a real blessing in my life. The title of the sermon is Uncle Fluffy. It is hard hitting and thought provoking. you can check it out at http://ia360633.us.archive.org/3/items/Beth_El/20100410-Congregation_Beth_El_of_Manhattan-Uncle_Fluffy-Lev9verse1.mp3
I need to hear the hard word of God. I need to be shaken up so that my heart will still turn towards the Lord. I would hate to be one of those who, in latter days, leaves the faith and leads others astray.
It is always a struggle to live in the world and not like the world. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I just want to give up. this week was like that for me. I still feel like walking away from it all. I am so tired of the fight.
But I would not want to be so stubborn that I choose something else other than God's way. I don't want to keep looking for the green grass on the other side, but to learn to be content with what God gives.
2 Kings 17:14 and 18:12 talks about how the people would not listen to what God has said. I want to be obedient and to follow Yeshua with all of my heart. I feel like everyone is just making up their own rules instead of being willing to follow God.
I need help so that I don't become bitter towards those who want to walk another path. Well listen to Rabbi Bruce and let me know what you think.
peace
while I am writing this I am listening to a sermon by Bruce Cohen. His teaching has been a real blessing in my life. The title of the sermon is Uncle Fluffy. It is hard hitting and thought provoking. you can check it out at http://ia360633.us.archive.org/3/items/Beth_El/20100410-Congregation_Beth_El_of_Manhattan-Uncle_Fluffy-Lev9verse1.mp3
I need to hear the hard word of God. I need to be shaken up so that my heart will still turn towards the Lord. I would hate to be one of those who, in latter days, leaves the faith and leads others astray.
It is always a struggle to live in the world and not like the world. Sometimes I get so frustrated that I just want to give up. this week was like that for me. I still feel like walking away from it all. I am so tired of the fight.
But I would not want to be so stubborn that I choose something else other than God's way. I don't want to keep looking for the green grass on the other side, but to learn to be content with what God gives.
2 Kings 17:14 and 18:12 talks about how the people would not listen to what God has said. I want to be obedient and to follow Yeshua with all of my heart. I feel like everyone is just making up their own rules instead of being willing to follow God.
I need help so that I don't become bitter towards those who want to walk another path. Well listen to Rabbi Bruce and let me know what you think.
peace
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Passing on the Resurrection
Today is Easter and I am in Sweden. It has been a time for Anette our oldest son, Eddie, and our two youngest daughters, Paulina and Nikole, to spend time together.
During this weekend I have hade a lot of thoughts about Yeshua and what that has meant for me. While my family is slowly understanding what being messianic means it has not been easy helping them to embrace The Way. They have a lot of questions and are often being bombarded with questions about the way in which we live our lives.
And as I listen to Rabbi Cohen’s message from March 6, 2010 from the Parashah Hukkat he makes a few points that seem very relevant. If you get a chance then check him out at http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/beth-el-manhattan-messianic/id261742853 it is titled Red Heifers and Unicorns. Now the actual torah portion is about the golden calf but on this day Rabbi Cohen decided to talk about the red heifer. He says that we don’t want our children to view our God as something that is mythical. No we want to pass on our faith to the next generation in such a way that our faith becomes their faith. And as they grow and start to ask questions then we want to give them better answers than, it is just so or that it has always been so.
While there are some things about our faith that are to be believed on faith alone, these items are not normative. More often than not, God gives us reasons and explanations about why he says what he says. Talking donkeys and burning bushes are not the normative ways in which God communicates. He guides us by reason, and example and explanation and this means that there are good reasons for why. Insanity is only appealing to the insane. I believe that, whenever it is possible, to try and understand the reasons why and at the same time accepting the things that are to be taken by faith.
There is a real danger that without good reasons our faith may seem to be built upon more of the unexplainable than the explainable. This makes the rules for life more suggestion than lifestyle. I know that I don’t want my children to see God as mythical instead of as real. I don’t just want to tell them the correct answer but to be able to explain reason why to them. I know that according to 1 Corinthians 2:14 spiritual things are not discerned by those who are not spiritual. I know that their friends may not understand why we have the rules that we have in our family. Many people think that it is strange that we eat in accordance with the rules of Leviticus 11
The reason for thinking this way is because while the, ashes of the red heifer becomes a vehicle of purification, whoever performs this becomes unclean. This is difficult to understand. God does not give us a lot of explanation and so many believe that this is something that just has to be taken on faith. But this may not be the normal way that God wants us to live.
God asks us to seek His truth and apply it to our life. We are to seek his way above the advice of our friends and family. This does not mean that friends and family are not important. Believe me they are. But when it is time to make a decision we will need the best help we can get. Family and friends can mean well but they might give advice which is contrary to God’s instruction and so knowing what the word says and why it says that is very important.
The instructions of God should be something that means more to us than our own desires. You see moral restraint is the choosing of life and not just ways to make life boring. In Deuteronomy 5:19 there is a challenge to choose life by living according to God’s instructions for life. Regardless of our age each and every one of us is faced daily with a whole host of choices. Each day presents us with choices so the question is what is going to help to make wise choices.
But how do we teach that modest dress, pleasant behaviour and the clear boundaries that God has established are the best and most correct way to live without making is seem like boring ritual and empty traditions?
How can I, or for that matter any parent, pass on the true meaning of a resurrection celebration or the deep meaning of Passover without undermining the strong foundation these truths are built upon?
We had a wonderful dinner yesterday, but we never mentioned Yeshua or talked about what he did. My in-laws are not believers and often think that things about the faith are not so interesting. We didn’t thank the Lord for the food before we ate. It was only late at night that we watched a film about Yeshua. Did that show my children that the things of our faith are not very important to me? I sure hope not.
I just want to make the resurrection real for my children and the young people at church.
peace
During this weekend I have hade a lot of thoughts about Yeshua and what that has meant for me. While my family is slowly understanding what being messianic means it has not been easy helping them to embrace The Way. They have a lot of questions and are often being bombarded with questions about the way in which we live our lives.
And as I listen to Rabbi Cohen’s message from March 6, 2010 from the Parashah Hukkat he makes a few points that seem very relevant. If you get a chance then check him out at http://itunes.apple.com/podcast/beth-el-manhattan-messianic/id261742853 it is titled Red Heifers and Unicorns. Now the actual torah portion is about the golden calf but on this day Rabbi Cohen decided to talk about the red heifer. He says that we don’t want our children to view our God as something that is mythical. No we want to pass on our faith to the next generation in such a way that our faith becomes their faith. And as they grow and start to ask questions then we want to give them better answers than, it is just so or that it has always been so.
While there are some things about our faith that are to be believed on faith alone, these items are not normative. More often than not, God gives us reasons and explanations about why he says what he says. Talking donkeys and burning bushes are not the normative ways in which God communicates. He guides us by reason, and example and explanation and this means that there are good reasons for why. Insanity is only appealing to the insane. I believe that, whenever it is possible, to try and understand the reasons why and at the same time accepting the things that are to be taken by faith.
There is a real danger that without good reasons our faith may seem to be built upon more of the unexplainable than the explainable. This makes the rules for life more suggestion than lifestyle. I know that I don’t want my children to see God as mythical instead of as real. I don’t just want to tell them the correct answer but to be able to explain reason why to them. I know that according to 1 Corinthians 2:14 spiritual things are not discerned by those who are not spiritual. I know that their friends may not understand why we have the rules that we have in our family. Many people think that it is strange that we eat in accordance with the rules of Leviticus 11
The reason for thinking this way is because while the, ashes of the red heifer becomes a vehicle of purification, whoever performs this becomes unclean. This is difficult to understand. God does not give us a lot of explanation and so many believe that this is something that just has to be taken on faith. But this may not be the normal way that God wants us to live.
God asks us to seek His truth and apply it to our life. We are to seek his way above the advice of our friends and family. This does not mean that friends and family are not important. Believe me they are. But when it is time to make a decision we will need the best help we can get. Family and friends can mean well but they might give advice which is contrary to God’s instruction and so knowing what the word says and why it says that is very important.
The instructions of God should be something that means more to us than our own desires. You see moral restraint is the choosing of life and not just ways to make life boring. In Deuteronomy 5:19 there is a challenge to choose life by living according to God’s instructions for life. Regardless of our age each and every one of us is faced daily with a whole host of choices. Each day presents us with choices so the question is what is going to help to make wise choices.
But how do we teach that modest dress, pleasant behaviour and the clear boundaries that God has established are the best and most correct way to live without making is seem like boring ritual and empty traditions?
How can I, or for that matter any parent, pass on the true meaning of a resurrection celebration or the deep meaning of Passover without undermining the strong foundation these truths are built upon?
We had a wonderful dinner yesterday, but we never mentioned Yeshua or talked about what he did. My in-laws are not believers and often think that things about the faith are not so interesting. We didn’t thank the Lord for the food before we ate. It was only late at night that we watched a film about Yeshua. Did that show my children that the things of our faith are not very important to me? I sure hope not.
I just want to make the resurrection real for my children and the young people at church.
peace
Thursday, March 18, 2010
thinking back
Yesterday I was telling two friends about how I have been feeling like I just get on everyone's nerves. I feel like stopping everything because I really want people to be okay and happy and if I am the problem then I am willing to get out of everyone's way.
We sat and prayed and talked about it. I guess that I feel very sad these days. It is not a crisis of belief or burnout. It is just that with so many people seemingly pissed at me, it is taking its toll. On one hand I am aware that God is using my crazy life. I know that in front of him, I am okay. I don't mean that He looks over my faults it is just that in spite of them He chooses to love me and allow me to stay in His kingdom. For His mercy and grace am I ever thankful.
1 Mos 19:19
Behold now, thy servant hath found grace in thy sight, and thou hast magnified thy mercy, which thou hast shewed unto me in saving my life; and I cannot escape to the mountain, lest some evil take me, and I die:
This verse sums up how I feel about my relationship with God. It feels solid and were it not for the Lord I would have crumbled a long time ago.
I don't want to make people feel badly. I hate the looks on their faces. I hate that fact they so many seem to expect things of me that I cannot give. I don't feel very accepted. I guess this is why I just feel like walking away. The other day, while I was riding the bus to work, I was having a waking daydream.
I dreamed that I woke up and I couldn't understand or speak Swedish. I didn't know anyone. I didn't even know why I was in Sweden. I just wanted to get on with my life. Everyone kept trying to tell me that I belonged here, but I had no recollection of it. It was peaceful and restful but it was not reality.
I have been so blessed by God's boundless grace. He saved me. But with so many people, in my daily walk, I see very little of grace. Every mistake regardless of the size is brought to my attention. The worse part is that it doesn't matter how hard I try, it just gets worse.
At the same time I feel this way I am in the middle of a time where I have been able to speak with lots of people about God. It is amazing how God has opened doors over the past few weeks. I am very hopeful that many people will come to faith in the Messiah. God has been using me to sow seeds of faith.
Sowing is not at all like reaping. Sometimes in order to sow you have to break up the fallow ground. This is a long but necessary process. If it is not done then you don't give the seeds a good start.
Jes 28:24-26
Doth the plowman plow all day to sow? doth he open and break the clods of his ground? [25] When he hath made plain the face thereof, doth he not cast abroad the fitches, and scatter the cummin, and cast in the principal wheat and the appointed barley and rie in their place? [26] For his God doth instruct him to discretion, and doth teach him.
Reaping is exciting, but not harvest takes place without sowing and tilling. It is much more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. I pray that I will not be envious or ungrateful because I am called to sow. When God called me to ministry in Sweden he told me to train others to evangelize and that I am to work with discipleship. I often forget that part of it.
I want to see the great harvest that the Lord will reap in this country. I long for it. So I must continue to sow and with God's help, people will not be so easily irritated with me.
What I hope is to find the way to reconciliation with my friends. I know that I need help with this. Help me God!
I hope that in the coming months my friends and I will continue to help people to trust the Creator of all life through his son Jesus/Yeshua. It is my desire that we grow in our confidence and dependency upon the Lord. Right now I just want my heart to be lightened, just a bit. And then I got an email about a video from a baptism I had done a year ago.
As I look back and remember the goodness of God, my sorrow is lessened and my joy is increased. This is one of those things that makes all of the tough time worth it all.
peace
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
quitting things
Yesterday I decided
to quit as a volunteer for Young Life. It is a very difficult decision since like IBS (International Bible Study) YoungLife has been like a family for me. It has been one of the places where I have gained the strength to continue on, when I felt like quitting.
Now I am no longer a part of either of these groups. It feels emptier and lonier but I think it still might be the right thing. I have been feeling like I have never nor will I ever be able to live up to the expectations of what people want me to be, do or act. I hate it. I have such a hard time of going past someone.
when I was a young child I decided to not be like that priest who was so busy going to his meeting and keeping up the formal appearences that he couldn't help the person in front of his face that had a need. But living the way that would make me happiest has a very negative side to it.
It means that things might come up and I might have to reorganize my priorities which usually means coming late. this makes everyone around me unhappy. then they judge me and call me inmmature because of this. I just can't handle it anymore. I want to be able to help with little notice and without having to make such a big deal of it.
For the past 6 months I have been feeling like the only things that matter are meetings and looking the part. I can say that this just sucks the life right out of me. I hate what I am becoming. I don't feel as though I am using what God has given me by spending all of my time in meetings and never building relationships. It is not that meetings and planing are unimportant, but they should not make up the bulk of my time.
But it is not just the meetings but more of the fact that I just feel like people are trying to remake me into the Edward that they would rather hang out with than who I am in reality. I know that I am not perfect and this is definitely not an attempt to make myself out to be a victim. I have chosen my lifestyle and my way of dealing with thing and while it may cause everyone around me to dislike me, it is a result of my free decisions. I just want to be me. I would rather loose friends and never again work with the things I love than to ever let people, expectations, roles and positions to force me into a mold that is not me.
I hate the loniness but it is better than feeling judged all of the time. So now I have decided to go it alone as much as possible. I have been backing away for some months now. I'm not as involved as I want to be nor do I hangout as much as I would like to. But it seems to be working. Over the past 6 weeks people have started complaining less. So it seems that I will have to keep going on this path.
When I first became a priest I foolishly thought that I would be able to be around others and build relationships. Now I see that in order to do my job I have to have this distance between myself and others. I have had it very rough this term and yet I have not shared so much of it with others like I would have before. I bear it before God and ask Him to help me.
It might not be what I thought it was going to be, but it may be what is necessary. I wish that I could have continued with YoungLife and IBS, right now things are emptier. I fill my days with papperwork and administration. I do have more time to pray for others and that gives me comfort. I like bringing things to God and then learning from seeing how He answers. It may sound all bad but it is not. I have more freedom to help and that is more important to me than being a part of something.
I just hope that in the long run, I am being lead by the Sprit of God. If not then all this is in vain. As I open my ears to hear God's voice I hope that he crushes the selfish resistance of my heart so that I will live for him, with or without a group.
The only surprising thing is how everyone has taken my quitting with such ease and okay. Maybe I wasn't doing as good a job as I thought? It's not important, just me thinking out loud.
It is sunny today. When I look through a window it looks like it is time for shorts. As I step through the door to enjoy the strong spring sun, the wind blows as a chilling gust and I know am then made aware of the difference between how something looks and how something really is. This is an important lesson for me to learn by.
peace
to quit as a volunteer for Young Life. It is a very difficult decision since like IBS (International Bible Study) YoungLife has been like a family for me. It has been one of the places where I have gained the strength to continue on, when I felt like quitting.
Now I am no longer a part of either of these groups. It feels emptier and lonier but I think it still might be the right thing. I have been feeling like I have never nor will I ever be able to live up to the expectations of what people want me to be, do or act. I hate it. I have such a hard time of going past someone.
when I was a young child I decided to not be like that priest who was so busy going to his meeting and keeping up the formal appearences that he couldn't help the person in front of his face that had a need. But living the way that would make me happiest has a very negative side to it.
It means that things might come up and I might have to reorganize my priorities which usually means coming late. this makes everyone around me unhappy. then they judge me and call me inmmature because of this. I just can't handle it anymore. I want to be able to help with little notice and without having to make such a big deal of it.
For the past 6 months I have been feeling like the only things that matter are meetings and looking the part. I can say that this just sucks the life right out of me. I hate what I am becoming. I don't feel as though I am using what God has given me by spending all of my time in meetings and never building relationships. It is not that meetings and planing are unimportant, but they should not make up the bulk of my time.
But it is not just the meetings but more of the fact that I just feel like people are trying to remake me into the Edward that they would rather hang out with than who I am in reality. I know that I am not perfect and this is definitely not an attempt to make myself out to be a victim. I have chosen my lifestyle and my way of dealing with thing and while it may cause everyone around me to dislike me, it is a result of my free decisions. I just want to be me. I would rather loose friends and never again work with the things I love than to ever let people, expectations, roles and positions to force me into a mold that is not me.
I hate the loniness but it is better than feeling judged all of the time. So now I have decided to go it alone as much as possible. I have been backing away for some months now. I'm not as involved as I want to be nor do I hangout as much as I would like to. But it seems to be working. Over the past 6 weeks people have started complaining less. So it seems that I will have to keep going on this path.
When I first became a priest I foolishly thought that I would be able to be around others and build relationships. Now I see that in order to do my job I have to have this distance between myself and others. I have had it very rough this term and yet I have not shared so much of it with others like I would have before. I bear it before God and ask Him to help me.
It might not be what I thought it was going to be, but it may be what is necessary. I wish that I could have continued with YoungLife and IBS, right now things are emptier. I fill my days with papperwork and administration. I do have more time to pray for others and that gives me comfort. I like bringing things to God and then learning from seeing how He answers. It may sound all bad but it is not. I have more freedom to help and that is more important to me than being a part of something.
I just hope that in the long run, I am being lead by the Sprit of God. If not then all this is in vain. As I open my ears to hear God's voice I hope that he crushes the selfish resistance of my heart so that I will live for him, with or without a group.
The only surprising thing is how everyone has taken my quitting with such ease and okay. Maybe I wasn't doing as good a job as I thought? It's not important, just me thinking out loud.
It is sunny today. When I look through a window it looks like it is time for shorts. As I step through the door to enjoy the strong spring sun, the wind blows as a chilling gust and I know am then made aware of the difference between how something looks and how something really is. This is an important lesson for me to learn by.
peace
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