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Today I feel really restless in my soul.
The last few weeks I have been trying to find out if I am called to be an administrative priest instead of one who preaches and leads church service.
I've been living in Sweden for over 12 years now and I still cannot write or speak well enough for the majority of society. It's just so frustrating that so many people focus on the most minor grammatical error and never hear the message that I am trying to communicate.
I have to lead through failure and opposition and this is not an easy thing to do. Last week I was so confident that if my beloved America could elect Barak Obama then anything is possible in Sweden. Now I know that I was just dreaming or eating too many cookies, (A sugar high can lead to hallucinations).
I guess that I am done now. I feel like all I do is fail. I walked into that room yesterday and was totally ambushed. I made it easy for them. The allusion to the fact that people want to know what they are getting for their money. If people don't give then there is no money for my job and I will be let go.
It's kind of funny that this could be used as an carrot to force me to do what others want. I feel very trapped and do not really know what to do. I have no idea what my options are. I am going to be lynched regardless of what I do, and this is a very paralyzing reality.
I would love to be in the mountains right now. Hiking all alone would be so refreshing, and yet I do not run away. It would change nothing. The answer has to be out there some where. It probably is right in front of me but I am too busy looking everywhere else but at my feet.
Even though the pressure is great I will still lean even harder upon the Lord. He is my strength and hope when I feel weak and hopeless. If He does not rescue me then there is no rescue but I will still praise Him and obey Him.
The righteous do not allow circumstances to dictate what their actions. They trust in the Lord and what He has promised in in Him do they find their solace. I love God. He who has kept His promises to Israel will keep His promises to me.
I'm down but I'm far from out.
peace on your head
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
30 october 2008
I was reading today's Torah portion. it is Genesis 6:9-11:32 when I received this idea that I would like to try out.
Since my days back in seminary there has been a lot of debate about the judgment of God. many people say that God is too loving to allow anyone to spend the rest of eternity not only separated from Him but also in punishment for their sins and unrighteousness.
In reading the account of Noah we see that God rightly surveys the heart of every single person on the planet and decides to punish them with death. The interesting thing is that Gos decides to save only a few people.
In 2 Pet 2:5 - 10 Peter refers to this event. He says that God will punish.
if God knows how to keep us safe then it must be by- "us"- relying on his strength, to give us all that we must have in order to live up to his standard.
I am tired and need some prayer.
God is always good
peace on your head
Since my days back in seminary there has been a lot of debate about the judgment of God. many people say that God is too loving to allow anyone to spend the rest of eternity not only separated from Him but also in punishment for their sins and unrighteousness.
In reading the account of Noah we see that God rightly surveys the heart of every single person on the planet and decides to punish them with death. The interesting thing is that Gos decides to save only a few people.
In 2 Pet 2:5 - 10 Peter refers to this event. He says that God will punish.
if God knows how to keep us safe then it must be by- "us"- relying on his strength, to give us all that we must have in order to live up to his standard.
I am tired and need some prayer.
God is always good
peace on your head
Thursday, October 16, 2008
16 october 2008
I wonder what life would be like if one was really willing to pay the price for their beliefs?
I have this real theological issue that has plagued me these last few days. It came a somewhat of a surprise since I thought that I had come to a conclusion. I guess that I was obviously wrong. Since I seemed stuck I asked a good friend for advice. My friend agreed to listen to me and offer some help.
My friend asked me if getting to the bottom of this issue would change things for me. I replied, "no". This friend told that maybe I should then leave my pondering and not worry about it. I was aghast with disbelief. Okay this particular theological issue is one of those sticky issues that people just cannot seem to agree or disagree about.
To leave a struggle just because it is difficult and may upset people or ruin my carrier is just not good enough for me. It could be that I have totally misunderstood what my friend meant, but I find that many people who call themselves Christian have taken a very passive attitude to their faith.
Doing the research and exploring the differing views is a lot of work. It is a lot of reading. It is not very exciting, but getting to a defendable statement of truth is about much more than who is right or wrong.
What it is about is having a world view that is worth living for. Jesus died upon the cross, died and later on was buried only to rise from the grave 3 days later. He paid that price for our sins so that every person who is willing to trust in what Christ did on the cross will have forgiveness and eternal life. He gave his apostles instructions on how they should live, after they receive the Holy Spirit. If this is really true then when will we start taking it seriously enough so that we live our lives by it.
peace on your head
I have this real theological issue that has plagued me these last few days. It came a somewhat of a surprise since I thought that I had come to a conclusion. I guess that I was obviously wrong. Since I seemed stuck I asked a good friend for advice. My friend agreed to listen to me and offer some help.
My friend asked me if getting to the bottom of this issue would change things for me. I replied, "no". This friend told that maybe I should then leave my pondering and not worry about it. I was aghast with disbelief. Okay this particular theological issue is one of those sticky issues that people just cannot seem to agree or disagree about.
To leave a struggle just because it is difficult and may upset people or ruin my carrier is just not good enough for me. It could be that I have totally misunderstood what my friend meant, but I find that many people who call themselves Christian have taken a very passive attitude to their faith.
Doing the research and exploring the differing views is a lot of work. It is a lot of reading. It is not very exciting, but getting to a defendable statement of truth is about much more than who is right or wrong.
What it is about is having a world view that is worth living for. Jesus died upon the cross, died and later on was buried only to rise from the grave 3 days later. He paid that price for our sins so that every person who is willing to trust in what Christ did on the cross will have forgiveness and eternal life. He gave his apostles instructions on how they should live, after they receive the Holy Spirit. If this is really true then when will we start taking it seriously enough so that we live our lives by it.
peace on your head
Monday, October 13, 2008
13 october 2008
Trying to convey objective truth is not always easy. First you need to make sure that person or persons you are trying to communicate this truth too want to receive it. The next step involves you being able to present this material in such a way that the person receiving it will understand what you mean.
The conveying of this truth must be logical, while at the same time interesting. The very worst thing in the world would be to make the truth boring. I do not mean that you have to be an entertainer but keeping you audience's attention is very important. Now in an age of the short attention span and diminished memory function, maintaining your listener's attention makes the passing on of truth even more challenging.
A true truth-teller is compelled, by some inner engine, to make the truth known even if they are fully aware that doing so might seem uncomfortable, politically incorrect, cost them being ostracized, or make the listener upset. For such a person, telling the truth, is a must. This does not in any way mean telling it all. Telling the truth for the sake of gossiping, bettering one's own position, causing harm, hurt or injuring to someone is not being a truth-teller. It's just being mean.
It is now always fun hearing this kind of truth. This kind of truth reveals things that I may not wish to face up to. It shines light into the hidden crevices and exposes what is hidden there. It can strip away the power of hiding. You know, when something is hidden then the maintaining of the secret becomes something that requires energy from me. What I don not mean is something that is said in confidence or something that should not be made public, but things that allow other people to have a better picture of me than what and who I really am.
Keeping us such a mask means taking energy from some other area where it is needed, for my own personal growth, an using it keep people from discovering a more true picture of me. Now I am fully aware that part of not letting all of me be seen is a component to my personal defense system. I need to make sure that revealing these hidden truths about me are not used against me or become the source of harm to others. Even God, wh0 is all truth, and goodness and light, does not reveal all things about himself. But he does reveal enough to take a risk.
This can happen to individuals as well as organizations. It causes a lack of self reflection. It might even result in the acceptance of a deceiving attitude. Refusal to see the truth makes one more susceptible to delusion. The truth's ability to pierce the shell of the heart can, in this environment, loose the sharpness of its point. It still looks like the spear of truth, but unfortunately it no longer pierces. The church in Sardis was like this. Jesus, truth-telling, says that they thought that they were alive but in reality they were dead.
So even though it is sometimes very difficult to communicate truth to people who have short attention spans, the truth must come from a living source and not a dead one. I wonder if I have the ability to realize when I am in the place of the dead instead of in the place of the living?
peace on your head
The conveying of this truth must be logical, while at the same time interesting. The very worst thing in the world would be to make the truth boring. I do not mean that you have to be an entertainer but keeping you audience's attention is very important. Now in an age of the short attention span and diminished memory function, maintaining your listener's attention makes the passing on of truth even more challenging.
A true truth-teller is compelled, by some inner engine, to make the truth known even if they are fully aware that doing so might seem uncomfortable, politically incorrect, cost them being ostracized, or make the listener upset. For such a person, telling the truth, is a must. This does not in any way mean telling it all. Telling the truth for the sake of gossiping, bettering one's own position, causing harm, hurt or injuring to someone is not being a truth-teller. It's just being mean.
It is now always fun hearing this kind of truth. This kind of truth reveals things that I may not wish to face up to. It shines light into the hidden crevices and exposes what is hidden there. It can strip away the power of hiding. You know, when something is hidden then the maintaining of the secret becomes something that requires energy from me. What I don not mean is something that is said in confidence or something that should not be made public, but things that allow other people to have a better picture of me than what and who I really am.
Keeping us such a mask means taking energy from some other area where it is needed, for my own personal growth, an using it keep people from discovering a more true picture of me. Now I am fully aware that part of not letting all of me be seen is a component to my personal defense system. I need to make sure that revealing these hidden truths about me are not used against me or become the source of harm to others. Even God, wh0 is all truth, and goodness and light, does not reveal all things about himself. But he does reveal enough to take a risk.
This can happen to individuals as well as organizations. It causes a lack of self reflection. It might even result in the acceptance of a deceiving attitude. Refusal to see the truth makes one more susceptible to delusion. The truth's ability to pierce the shell of the heart can, in this environment, loose the sharpness of its point. It still looks like the spear of truth, but unfortunately it no longer pierces. The church in Sardis was like this. Jesus, truth-telling, says that they thought that they were alive but in reality they were dead.
So even though it is sometimes very difficult to communicate truth to people who have short attention spans, the truth must come from a living source and not a dead one. I wonder if I have the ability to realize when I am in the place of the dead instead of in the place of the living?
peace on your head
Thursday, October 9, 2008
9 october 2008
Sometimes I feel that being a priest is very limiting. What I mean is that since ordination I have become aware of the fact that I can loose this position. It might be different for others but for me this means that there can be a sort of idolatrous quality to be being a priest. I might like this so much that I desire it and may not be willing to give it up. Now it can become the carrot that entices me to go against what I believe to be true and right.
This become all the more clear when I consider how many potential risks I could take if I were not afraid of being stripped from the clergy. Every word I utter is weighed against “how much will these words or phrases cost me”.
I’m afraid I might be becoming a people pleaser. Being a priest is making me less bold and radical. I’m becoming careful and strategic. I never envisioned me becoming this kind of a leader. I’m just not ______ enough to be a priest. I think that we should speak in normal language about normal things, but all the time allowing this talk to be seasoned with the Christian world view that the Bible gives.
For example, some people are really offended when I say that Jesus sweated, went pooh and pee, farted and other normal human things. The fact that Jesus farted means that he was truly human in every aspect. For me this does not take away his divinity only accentuates it. Jesus is also God. Everything that God says and does in the Old Testament is reflected in Jesus. There is no difference. This means that he had to give a whole lot to take on flesh and be like us. It makes the incarnation that much stronger and virgin birth that much more tangible.
I can’t follow the politically correct stream nor can I follow the over spiritual pious one either. I am neither conservative nor liberal because, for the most part, both camps only want to spend time in there little closed circle of like-minded thinking and never venture out into the real world. One group wants to be like the world without transformation and the other wants to be so totally transformed that they stop being human.
Racists, drug traffickers, activists, cultists, false religious leaders, etc, can all say what they think and know to be true, I feel so trapped by consequences imposed by others. It is not even possible to discuss these ideas, except with a selected few. The goal is to make on one uncomfortable. The sharp point of the spear of truth is dulled just enough so that it no longer penetrates the heart of the listener. In such an environment there can be no transformation or fully committed followers of Christ.
God save us from our stupidity
Peace on your head
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
1 october 2008
I came home two days ago from a trip to England. It was a very special 4 days with some of the members of Flumgruppen. This is a follow-up group to confirmation.
Now it has been a few days and so it is important to see what remains from these few days in which we visited churches in London.
I am still so overwhelmed by the level of openness and hospitality that was exhibited by the various churches. The thing that makes this so significant is the fact that these churches were from differing traditions and denominations. We all felt so welcomed when we came in.
I know that if a church is welcoming then people will want to belong. It is something that we are very poor about in Sweden. Hospitality is at a very low level in the average church in Sweden. Most people feel that it is very difficult to belong. This is a very serious offense. It is so far from the heart of God.
Our God opens his arms in order to receive those who come to him. If we are his children then we should manifest the characteristics of our family, but for the most part we don't.
In each of these churches, despite there very different traditions and ways of worshiping, they seemed to be focused upon heartfelt worship, a clear view of the Bible as the word of God, and inviting those who are far away from God to draw near to him.
In my church we very seldom invite people to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour. We say that we care but we hardly ever make that a reality. We are not so welcoming to strangers. Even among the young people you can see this tendency, to want to remain in one's own comfortable and closed group, and I have no idea if it will ever change.
I so desire to belong to and to work in a church which is open to people who do not belong to our particular group. If it is difficult to belong then it will be difficult to believe.
I feel that something needs to be done, but I just do not know what. If the Kingdom of God has landed in our hearts and minds then it should not our openness be affected. I want to be a vehicle of change that will affect my church so that it will be open, welcoming and on fire for God.
I hope that the experiences of the past week will be with me long enough to see change take place
peace on your heads
Now it has been a few days and so it is important to see what remains from these few days in which we visited churches in London.
I am still so overwhelmed by the level of openness and hospitality that was exhibited by the various churches. The thing that makes this so significant is the fact that these churches were from differing traditions and denominations. We all felt so welcomed when we came in.
I know that if a church is welcoming then people will want to belong. It is something that we are very poor about in Sweden. Hospitality is at a very low level in the average church in Sweden. Most people feel that it is very difficult to belong. This is a very serious offense. It is so far from the heart of God.
Our God opens his arms in order to receive those who come to him. If we are his children then we should manifest the characteristics of our family, but for the most part we don't.
In each of these churches, despite there very different traditions and ways of worshiping, they seemed to be focused upon heartfelt worship, a clear view of the Bible as the word of God, and inviting those who are far away from God to draw near to him.
In my church we very seldom invite people to accept Jesus Christ as their Lord and Saviour. We say that we care but we hardly ever make that a reality. We are not so welcoming to strangers. Even among the young people you can see this tendency, to want to remain in one's own comfortable and closed group, and I have no idea if it will ever change.
I so desire to belong to and to work in a church which is open to people who do not belong to our particular group. If it is difficult to belong then it will be difficult to believe.
I feel that something needs to be done, but I just do not know what. If the Kingdom of God has landed in our hearts and minds then it should not our openness be affected. I want to be a vehicle of change that will affect my church so that it will be open, welcoming and on fire for God.
I hope that the experiences of the past week will be with me long enough to see change take place
peace on your heads
Thursday, September 18, 2008
18 september
Today I am very happy. Yesterday a few young people decided that they want to be Christians. God is good.
Just a few days ago I was praying and asking God to let me see just a little piece of the fruit of my labor. Now I feel like God has answered my prayer. This does not mean in any way that every day is just a walk in the park.
Believe me it is not. I am in a personal state of flux. I believe that the Bible is God's word. To many people they might think that I have now become a fundamentalist. That is something that I cannot answer myself, but must leave that judgment to others. My fruit will determine what type of tree I am.
Anyway, I feel that as a leader in the Body of Christ, I need to live, not only, an exemplary lifestyle but a radical lifestyle. My problem is that there are quite a few issues that are on the table these days. I do not believe that I am called by God to enter into each and every arena. But I do believe that there are some areas where I should engage my culture and time with an unwavering stand for what is right.
Salvation for each and every person. I am not a Universalist. I believe that everyone needs a personal faith in Jesus Christ. Many people think that we should not share our faith with young people or people who are born into or have another faith. I do not agree.
The Christian faith can only be true or false. If it is true then it is the hope for all of humanity. If it is false then it should be eradicated. I hope that these three young people are but the beginning of a tidal wave of young people coming to the realization that God has a central place in their lives and that the way that happens is by accepting his son, Jesus Christ.
I pray for more.
peace on your head
Just a few days ago I was praying and asking God to let me see just a little piece of the fruit of my labor. Now I feel like God has answered my prayer. This does not mean in any way that every day is just a walk in the park.
Believe me it is not. I am in a personal state of flux. I believe that the Bible is God's word. To many people they might think that I have now become a fundamentalist. That is something that I cannot answer myself, but must leave that judgment to others. My fruit will determine what type of tree I am.
Anyway, I feel that as a leader in the Body of Christ, I need to live, not only, an exemplary lifestyle but a radical lifestyle. My problem is that there are quite a few issues that are on the table these days. I do not believe that I am called by God to enter into each and every arena. But I do believe that there are some areas where I should engage my culture and time with an unwavering stand for what is right.
Salvation for each and every person. I am not a Universalist. I believe that everyone needs a personal faith in Jesus Christ. Many people think that we should not share our faith with young people or people who are born into or have another faith. I do not agree.
The Christian faith can only be true or false. If it is true then it is the hope for all of humanity. If it is false then it should be eradicated. I hope that these three young people are but the beginning of a tidal wave of young people coming to the realization that God has a central place in their lives and that the way that happens is by accepting his son, Jesus Christ.
I pray for more.
peace on your head
Friday, August 29, 2008
29 aug 2008
I have been really worried lately.
I feel like things are on the edge. I really want to serve God but I'm finding that this is not always easy. there are many times in a person's life where they have to make a choice between preserving what they now have in their hands and risking it all by doing the right thing.
I do not believe that God has led me all this way just so that I can become blinded by comfort and security. what I do believe is that He has led me to this point in my life so that I may choose Him above everything.
Yesterday I was so worried about a document that requires my signature on it. The thing that worries me is that I may be asked to sign my name in support of things which I believe are contrary to the Word of God. In effect I would be asked to say that right is wrong and wrong is right. Refusing to sign this will in all likelihood caused me to be removed from a part of my job that I hold very dear. This would cause a chain effect and I will have to quit without any prospect in sight of being able to contribute to the economical well-being of my family.
The choice is once again between comfort and security.
But one thing that I know about God is that those who are steadfast and committed to doing that which is right in His eyes can count on God's help and guidance. this is not the case for those who choose to oppose Him or being deceived they wrongly assume that He will not react in accordance with what He has said.
I guess that as I reflect upon this I understand that greater is He that is in me than that which is in the world. He is my light, my sword, my strong fortress and shield and therefore I need not be afraid or tremble at the threats of others. The Lord will be my avenger.
I have come to to the realization that as He has called me, He must lead me. I cast my lot in His hands and there I will stay until Judgment Day.
I am proud to be a child of God. His word is true and teaches us about the life the please Him. I will not fear a document nor the bad theology of those with more power than myself. I will trust in the Lord and follow Him. I will live for Him and if I am wrong then He shall discipline and correct me so that I may live.
God is great
peace on your heads
I feel like things are on the edge. I really want to serve God but I'm finding that this is not always easy. there are many times in a person's life where they have to make a choice between preserving what they now have in their hands and risking it all by doing the right thing.
I do not believe that God has led me all this way just so that I can become blinded by comfort and security. what I do believe is that He has led me to this point in my life so that I may choose Him above everything.
Yesterday I was so worried about a document that requires my signature on it. The thing that worries me is that I may be asked to sign my name in support of things which I believe are contrary to the Word of God. In effect I would be asked to say that right is wrong and wrong is right. Refusing to sign this will in all likelihood caused me to be removed from a part of my job that I hold very dear. This would cause a chain effect and I will have to quit without any prospect in sight of being able to contribute to the economical well-being of my family.
The choice is once again between comfort and security.
But one thing that I know about God is that those who are steadfast and committed to doing that which is right in His eyes can count on God's help and guidance. this is not the case for those who choose to oppose Him or being deceived they wrongly assume that He will not react in accordance with what He has said.
I guess that as I reflect upon this I understand that greater is He that is in me than that which is in the world. He is my light, my sword, my strong fortress and shield and therefore I need not be afraid or tremble at the threats of others. The Lord will be my avenger.
I have come to to the realization that as He has called me, He must lead me. I cast my lot in His hands and there I will stay until Judgment Day.
I am proud to be a child of God. His word is true and teaches us about the life the please Him. I will not fear a document nor the bad theology of those with more power than myself. I will trust in the Lord and follow Him. I will live for Him and if I am wrong then He shall discipline and correct me so that I may live.
God is great
peace on your heads
Sunday, August 24, 2008
25 aug 2008
i have been working way too much. I wish that I could slow down but ...
everyone is trying to get me to do less but that doesn't work for me. what does work is that we were a few more who could help out. it's about others taking some responsibility.
i understand what Jesus meant when we said the laborers are few. I really wish that God would just open my eyes so that i could see the laborers. I would invite them to the harvest and then together we would reap a great harvest as directed by the Lord of the harvest.
I believe that the time is now for us to go out and spread the Gospel of Christ to all of Uppsala. we should not delay any longer.
may this day be lived in such a way that God is pleased and glorified
peace
everyone is trying to get me to do less but that doesn't work for me. what does work is that we were a few more who could help out. it's about others taking some responsibility.
i understand what Jesus meant when we said the laborers are few. I really wish that God would just open my eyes so that i could see the laborers. I would invite them to the harvest and then together we would reap a great harvest as directed by the Lord of the harvest.
I believe that the time is now for us to go out and spread the Gospel of Christ to all of Uppsala. we should not delay any longer.
may this day be lived in such a way that God is pleased and glorified
peace
Friday, August 22, 2008
svårt att be - difficult to pray
this week I had really wanted to pray, but I never seem to get around to it.
I find that this is one of the real challenges of being a priest.
When I was in seminary I always looked down on the visiting priests who talked about how little time they had for preparation and individual devotion. I was so certain that I was not going to end up like them.
the truth is that I am like them. I am so inundated with paper work that I often don't make time for prayer. things keep popping up. there is alway something else that needs to be signed or a conversation that needs to take place. It is so difficult that many times I just give up.
I have every intention of this term being different but so far it has still been too many days where I have planned on praying but then I never make it. Sometimes I think that it might be better if we there were a few others who would like to pray with me. Even this is difficult. many of my Christian friends don't have time either.
this past Sunday we were a few who prayed and it was so "härligt" that is wonderful. I really enjoyed just spending time before God. I have truly missed it.
i wonder when did everything else become so important.
this has to change
I find that this is one of the real challenges of being a priest.
When I was in seminary I always looked down on the visiting priests who talked about how little time they had for preparation and individual devotion. I was so certain that I was not going to end up like them.
the truth is that I am like them. I am so inundated with paper work that I often don't make time for prayer. things keep popping up. there is alway something else that needs to be signed or a conversation that needs to take place. It is so difficult that many times I just give up.
I have every intention of this term being different but so far it has still been too many days where I have planned on praying but then I never make it. Sometimes I think that it might be better if we there were a few others who would like to pray with me. Even this is difficult. many of my Christian friends don't have time either.
this past Sunday we were a few who prayed and it was so "härligt" that is wonderful. I really enjoyed just spending time before God. I have truly missed it.
i wonder when did everything else become so important.
this has to change
Saturday, August 16, 2008
before i sleep
today I had a very interesting thing happen to me. I guess that lately I've been thinking a lot about that day in the future when each and every person will stand before the judgment seat of Jesus Christ to be judged according to what they have done here.
The problem is that there are so many people who falsely think that saying a sinner's prayer, while a good thing, is all that they have to do to get into heaven. what i mean by this is that the Christian faith is not the prayer. I don't think that saying the prayer should be a goal in itself. Sometimes you can hear Christian workers referring to the effectiveness of their work by making reference to things like how many people said the sinner's prayer, the number of people baptized this month, the number of people a new member's class or some other similar thing.
i guess that I have come to the conclusion that it is the long term fruit that is a better indication of what our impact is for the kingdom. I do not in any way wish to belittle the valuable work and the long hours that many evangelism oriented groups and individuals put into helping people across the threshold of faith. Without these people's dedication we would probably see a lot less people in church these days.
There are a group of young people, mostly boys, outside of our church who can make life very difficult and tiresome. Many people think that they should just start behaving better and start respecting our church and it's property. Sometimes I am so amazed by the fact that many people seem to think that doing right is just a matter of realizing that one is doing wrong and then making the appropriate corrections.
I feel that if I lay on the salesmanship really thick, I could get many of these guys to say a sinner's prayer. And for many people that would be such a great accomplish that it would be worthy of much praise. The problem is that the sinner's prayer cannot effect a changed nature in these guys. For the most part they know that what they have done and are doing are not the kinds of things that gets one into the presence of God for all of eternity. So many of them would, more than likely, say the sinner's prayer as a guarantee against spending all of eternity away from God's presence in hell. Many would wrongly think that they can now do as they please since having said the sinner's prayer forces God to let them into his kingdom.
What would be more fair to these guys is to tell them the whole story and not just inform them about the benefits. They need to know about taking up one's object of death and scorn on a daily basis and then being willing to follow Jesus Christ as their master. They would need to be informed about the cost factor. Once they have considered the cost then saying the sinner's prayer has a deeper foundation. The emphasis of the Christian worker is then to give them a balanced picture of what being a Christian is about. Fewer might make a decision to follow Jesus but more would be willing to live the radial life of a true follower of Jesus Christ.
Yes, I did say a true follower, meaning that there are false followers. Just look at their fruit. A tree can be very easily identified by its fruit. more about that later on.
peace on your head
Edward
The problem is that there are so many people who falsely think that saying a sinner's prayer, while a good thing, is all that they have to do to get into heaven. what i mean by this is that the Christian faith is not the prayer. I don't think that saying the prayer should be a goal in itself. Sometimes you can hear Christian workers referring to the effectiveness of their work by making reference to things like how many people said the sinner's prayer, the number of people baptized this month, the number of people a new member's class or some other similar thing.
i guess that I have come to the conclusion that it is the long term fruit that is a better indication of what our impact is for the kingdom. I do not in any way wish to belittle the valuable work and the long hours that many evangelism oriented groups and individuals put into helping people across the threshold of faith. Without these people's dedication we would probably see a lot less people in church these days.
There are a group of young people, mostly boys, outside of our church who can make life very difficult and tiresome. Many people think that they should just start behaving better and start respecting our church and it's property. Sometimes I am so amazed by the fact that many people seem to think that doing right is just a matter of realizing that one is doing wrong and then making the appropriate corrections.
I feel that if I lay on the salesmanship really thick, I could get many of these guys to say a sinner's prayer. And for many people that would be such a great accomplish that it would be worthy of much praise. The problem is that the sinner's prayer cannot effect a changed nature in these guys. For the most part they know that what they have done and are doing are not the kinds of things that gets one into the presence of God for all of eternity. So many of them would, more than likely, say the sinner's prayer as a guarantee against spending all of eternity away from God's presence in hell. Many would wrongly think that they can now do as they please since having said the sinner's prayer forces God to let them into his kingdom.
What would be more fair to these guys is to tell them the whole story and not just inform them about the benefits. They need to know about taking up one's object of death and scorn on a daily basis and then being willing to follow Jesus Christ as their master. They would need to be informed about the cost factor. Once they have considered the cost then saying the sinner's prayer has a deeper foundation. The emphasis of the Christian worker is then to give them a balanced picture of what being a Christian is about. Fewer might make a decision to follow Jesus but more would be willing to live the radial life of a true follower of Jesus Christ.
Yes, I did say a true follower, meaning that there are false followers. Just look at their fruit. A tree can be very easily identified by its fruit. more about that later on.
peace on your head
Edward
Monday, August 11, 2008
wow it's been a while
I have now been employed for two years but only 1½ years since my ordination.
I was so overwhelmed by the size and the responsibility of my job. It is still very large and difficult to manage but I believe that I am starting to grow into the position. My largest struggle has been living a life with Christ in the center. I have so many questions that has still gone unanswered, but I guess that this is part of the journey.
I believe so many things that go against Swedish society. My struggle is that I hate conflict so much that I often do say anything when maybe I should. I don't mean that I need to propagate my opinions just because I need to be right, but sometimes what is being said is not only wrong but it is influencing people and giving them false hope. I wonder how will I fare on judgment day?
today we have a group coming from France and I just now thought about them needing sleeping bags. I hope that they have thought of that on their own. i keep on making mistakes. i just wish that one day would go without a hitch, but then that would probably not be my life.
last week I was moaning about not being able to preach so often, when one of my young leaders helped me so see that preaching is not only done from the pulpit but is more often done when we meet others and do life with them. this was such a deep and important insight for me.
There are a lot of things to like about my job. i get to work both inside and outside of the church. I'm not limited to only one group of people. we have people who are far away from God, others who are struggling to find him, and a group who have decided to embrace the truth of God's word. This makes being a priest very exciting and keeps me guessing.
I hope that this day will be lived for Jesus. I must make sure that I have time to pray and read my Bible. We have guests coming to the church and there is a whole lot of planning that still needs to get done.
well I have to get to work.
I was so overwhelmed by the size and the responsibility of my job. It is still very large and difficult to manage but I believe that I am starting to grow into the position. My largest struggle has been living a life with Christ in the center. I have so many questions that has still gone unanswered, but I guess that this is part of the journey.
I believe so many things that go against Swedish society. My struggle is that I hate conflict so much that I often do say anything when maybe I should. I don't mean that I need to propagate my opinions just because I need to be right, but sometimes what is being said is not only wrong but it is influencing people and giving them false hope. I wonder how will I fare on judgment day?
today we have a group coming from France and I just now thought about them needing sleeping bags. I hope that they have thought of that on their own. i keep on making mistakes. i just wish that one day would go without a hitch, but then that would probably not be my life.
last week I was moaning about not being able to preach so often, when one of my young leaders helped me so see that preaching is not only done from the pulpit but is more often done when we meet others and do life with them. this was such a deep and important insight for me.
There are a lot of things to like about my job. i get to work both inside and outside of the church. I'm not limited to only one group of people. we have people who are far away from God, others who are struggling to find him, and a group who have decided to embrace the truth of God's word. This makes being a priest very exciting and keeps me guessing.
I hope that this day will be lived for Jesus. I must make sure that I have time to pray and read my Bible. We have guests coming to the church and there is a whole lot of planning that still needs to get done.
well I have to get to work.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
back from the States 2
Well, this past Monday (14 jan) I flew into Stockholm from Florida.
I had been at the All Staff Conference in Orlando, FL. I have to admit that, after this past fall, this was just what I needed. To spend a week with up to 4000 other Christians who also have a burning passion to bring the gospel of Jesus Christ to young people around the world was so edifying and healing that my meager words cannot do it justice.
I believe that I can safely say that my depression has gone over and I no longer wish to throw in the towel and give up. We had one day of fasting and guided prayer and than meant a lot to me. Earlier last spring, I had this idea that we would not start with our activities until we had completed a time of prayer. To my great surprise this idea was totally shot down.
I believe that prayer is very important especially before undertaking planning and strategies. It was really something to sit in a room with 4000 people divided into smaller groups praying for the same thing. The Holy Spirit was very present. During those days I had some time to really just praise and listen to God talk to my soul. I may still believe that I could be so much more effective as a pastor in the States than here in Sweden, but I've decided to leave all of that in God's hands.
I may not understand why God called me to Sweden nor ever feel that I am doing anything worthwhile, but I trust God and therefore I can rest in what I know about God more than achieving some kind of expected results.
We were treated to the stories of individuals who have been encouraged and loved in spite of some tsunami sized obsticles. This gave me a great deal of hope. It is as though God has really healed a great sore in my spirit.
One of the surprising things is to happen is that I realized that I feel very disliked. I'm not saying that this feeling is grounded in any factual evidence but it is something that has affected me for several decades. I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I feel like no one really likes me or wants to have me around unless I can do lots of different things. It is the different things that they need and so they are forced to accept me as part of the deal. This is how I feel in my family, around the vast majority of my friends, and at my job. I feel like the young people in my church dislike me or even wish to have nothing to do with me. I feel like almost all of my teachers in the seminary hate me.
Everyday I go to work I think that this will be my last day. I'm going to get fired. I'm so afraid that my wife is just going to leave me, not because she has said anything, or even hinted at it. I just get this feeling that I can't really seem to shake. It is always at the edge of my thoughts waiting to take over.
I spoke to my friend Patrik and he told me that these feelings are lies and not the truth. I guess that I am still that short kid with the sqweaky soprano voice, that always gets picked last or as a reserve who never gets to play. I remember being so ashamed that I didn't have a girlfriend and was a virgin that I made up stories about having sex. Kind of strange in a way, since I believed that sex outside of marriage was wrong. Mostly it was that I just didn't like girls in that way. I really didn't want a girlfriend just close female friends. But not having a girlfriend made me an oddball. I didn't fit in.
Now I'm a priest and I still do not fit in. Everyone seems bothered by the fact that I don't measure up to what they expect of a priest or someone who is about to turn 46 years old (tomorrow). I'm not immature I just think that it is still fun to have fun. I still like to learn and experience new things.
I really need let go of all of this. I need to just reach out and take my heavenly Father's hand and just let him lead me through 2008. One thing is to make sure that i prioritize my relationship with God, this year. No one may come to faith this year; I may not see any fruit from my labors; I may never experience a full day of satisfaction in my job or family life, but I will seek God with my whole heart. He is my refuge and my strong tower. This is renewed confidence in the character of God, as the only thing I need for contenment, is something that I received from the Young Life All Staff Conference.
I do not fear this year even though it may turn out to be a real doosie.
I had been at the All Staff Conference in Orlando, FL. I have to admit that, after this past fall, this was just what I needed. To spend a week with up to 4000 other Christians who also have a burning passion to bring the gospel of Jesus Christ to young people around the world was so edifying and healing that my meager words cannot do it justice.
I believe that I can safely say that my depression has gone over and I no longer wish to throw in the towel and give up. We had one day of fasting and guided prayer and than meant a lot to me. Earlier last spring, I had this idea that we would not start with our activities until we had completed a time of prayer. To my great surprise this idea was totally shot down.
I believe that prayer is very important especially before undertaking planning and strategies. It was really something to sit in a room with 4000 people divided into smaller groups praying for the same thing. The Holy Spirit was very present. During those days I had some time to really just praise and listen to God talk to my soul. I may still believe that I could be so much more effective as a pastor in the States than here in Sweden, but I've decided to leave all of that in God's hands.
I may not understand why God called me to Sweden nor ever feel that I am doing anything worthwhile, but I trust God and therefore I can rest in what I know about God more than achieving some kind of expected results.
We were treated to the stories of individuals who have been encouraged and loved in spite of some tsunami sized obsticles. This gave me a great deal of hope. It is as though God has really healed a great sore in my spirit.
One of the surprising things is to happen is that I realized that I feel very disliked. I'm not saying that this feeling is grounded in any factual evidence but it is something that has affected me for several decades. I don't feel like I fit in anywhere. I feel like no one really likes me or wants to have me around unless I can do lots of different things. It is the different things that they need and so they are forced to accept me as part of the deal. This is how I feel in my family, around the vast majority of my friends, and at my job. I feel like the young people in my church dislike me or even wish to have nothing to do with me. I feel like almost all of my teachers in the seminary hate me.
Everyday I go to work I think that this will be my last day. I'm going to get fired. I'm so afraid that my wife is just going to leave me, not because she has said anything, or even hinted at it. I just get this feeling that I can't really seem to shake. It is always at the edge of my thoughts waiting to take over.
I spoke to my friend Patrik and he told me that these feelings are lies and not the truth. I guess that I am still that short kid with the sqweaky soprano voice, that always gets picked last or as a reserve who never gets to play. I remember being so ashamed that I didn't have a girlfriend and was a virgin that I made up stories about having sex. Kind of strange in a way, since I believed that sex outside of marriage was wrong. Mostly it was that I just didn't like girls in that way. I really didn't want a girlfriend just close female friends. But not having a girlfriend made me an oddball. I didn't fit in.
Now I'm a priest and I still do not fit in. Everyone seems bothered by the fact that I don't measure up to what they expect of a priest or someone who is about to turn 46 years old (tomorrow). I'm not immature I just think that it is still fun to have fun. I still like to learn and experience new things.
I really need let go of all of this. I need to just reach out and take my heavenly Father's hand and just let him lead me through 2008. One thing is to make sure that i prioritize my relationship with God, this year. No one may come to faith this year; I may not see any fruit from my labors; I may never experience a full day of satisfaction in my job or family life, but I will seek God with my whole heart. He is my refuge and my strong tower. This is renewed confidence in the character of God, as the only thing I need for contenment, is something that I received from the Young Life All Staff Conference.
I do not fear this year even though it may turn out to be a real doosie.
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