8 & 9 days to go

Well yesterday I came home so late that I was just too tired to write. Not too much happened yesterday. The only thought I had was about a very strange dream.

in this dream I am kneeling or prostrate, I can't remember which, at the main altar in Uppsal Cathedra and Bishop Persenius (He is the Bishop of Uppsala diocee) had just finished laying his hands on me, when all of a sudden I started glowing.

there was an angel standing over my head and I heard God say that I should pray for the sick. Lately I have been having dreams about praying for the sick. So before we got ready to distribute the Holy Communion (nattvard) in the middle of the Cathedra when I felt the urging of the Holy Spirit leading me to ask someone if they wanted to be healed. i announced if there was anyone who wanted to be healed. I was going to pray for my oldest son, since he has Downs Syndrome, but then I heard a voice saying that he was not sick. So I prayed that God would increase his mental falculties to such a degree that he could fulfill his dream of reading and writing and that we would be better able to communicate. This gave me the confidence to go up to a person who was blind.

i spat on my fingers and massaged his eyes. he could only see shapes then so I prayed and then he could see.

there was a lady in a wheelchair and so I went to her and stretched out my hand and said,. "In the name of Jesus Christ the Son of God" and her arm (she had none) grew out and she recieved strength in her bones and started loudly praising God. Now for those of you who do not live in Sweden, the services in a cathedral, or for that matter in most places, are very, very quite.

everyone was looking and the Bishop looked like a tomato. i don't know if he was angry, amazed or dissappointed that this was happening. i announced that if anyone else wanted to be healed then they could come to St Erik's gate. people were healed and I talked to them about recieving and following Jesus.

The healing continued afterwards and so sick people were being brought to Lötenkyrkan. It so happend that I was in Nyby Gård (this is the area where I spend 50% of my working hours reaching kids that live in that area) when a mother to one of boys came in. She (I won't use their names because this could be very sensitive information that they wouldn't like to spread around) had been in a wheel chair and had pain all over her body. i prayed for her and God healed her. This was so beyond her fantasy that she wanted to know more about Jesus. So we started teaching parents about Jesus. her son was angry with me at first but after I talked to him he also became a Christian. we met in Nyby Gård with women and small children on one side of the room and men on the other side. I spoke in Swedish and what I said was translated inte either Arabic or Persian.

Well our congregation grew and so we had to build this church in Nyby Gård with a large balcony. Lots of people came to believe in God there.

During Livskraft New Year's camp I had a dream that if I took my annointing vial and placed it on the altar then God would fill it with oil to be used to annoint the sick, before praying that God would heal them. I couldn't shake this thought so I placed my vial on the altar, prayed and left it over night. When I came back the next day I was very nervous. I went to the altar and opened my vial but there was no oil in it. I pressed the cotton in it just to make sure, but alas no oil.

I believe that God can heal the sick. But I don't believe that I can command God to heal someone nor can I promise that God will do it, if he has not said anything to me. I just went to check my vial one more time to make sure. There are a lot of people that I have contact with who are sick in a way that medical science cannot help them. There are a lot of people trapped in psychological sicknesses as well. I have an inner longing to see God open a wide window of healing that will meet the needs of so many of the sick around us. I could be wrong, but i believe that this would open the door to being able to boldly preach about the new life that God offers to each person through Jesus Christ.

It seems like not too many people want to hear that message about how they need Jesus in their lives. Well actually I'm not sure that people don't want to hear about it, more like they just don't want to be bored by it. There is a lot to say about presentation and enthusiasm.

I had such a difficult time getting into my computer at work that I didn't get as much done as I'd like to.

today

Anette and I went shopping for a dress for the Bishop's Dinner next week. hmmmmmmmm shopping :( ..., sometimes I forget just how tiring it can be when the mall is full of people. Well we didn't find our game and so the weary hunters came home emptyhanded.

while we were out, I met a young man who was obviously mentally challenged (handicapped for those of you who are not Pc) he came over to me and started talking and wanted to shake my hand. My first thought was no not me. People always seem to see me and want to talk to me. I just wanted to sit down, be sour and read my book. This was not to be.

You see, before we left the house I had a strange impression to take my oil vial with me.(during the last few weeks I've been carrying it with me just in case I might need it. There is still no oil in it but...) So I stuffed it into my left pocket of my down vest and off we went. The really strange thing is that when I shook young mans hand for the second time, and for the second time introduce myself to him, I felt a strong urge to pray for him. I really felt this strong, almost like an inner pushing, to pray for this young man to be healed. Unfortunately I didn't do it.

This has caused me to reflect about healing. Anette's mother suffers from fibermyalogi. I have many times felt this urge to ask her if I could annoint her with oil and pray for her. She if she became miraculously healed then I think that my in-laws would be confronted with the reality of God. They might want to talk aobut God and find out that God loves them and seeks a relationship with them. When they find out that this relationship is available through faith in Jesus then they might become Christians. That would be worth dancing in the ailes for.

Personally I don't think that healing is an end in and of itself. I believe that it is a way to meet the needs of people that opens them up for the Gospel. I don't want healing to happen in my church so that we can have another Christian medal to hang on our chest. I just want people to concretely see God's love in action. Just think about it being more than just words or a philosophical idea that one ascribes to.

I become very sad and frustrated with seeing so many sick people around me. I don't need to see healing in order to know that God is good, I'm already convinced. But people are suffering around me and I don't know what to do. I know that I want to do something, but what.

It is difficult for me to understand how so many other people can demand that God heal someone, just as if he is not sovereign. I only feel comfortable with laying my request before God and if He heals or not then he is still just as much a loving God.

I'm wondering if the problem doesn't lie with me. I want God to heal in churches and worship services because I wouldn't feel as much a fool. But what happens if like today at the mall, that God really wants to heal a person right then and there. He might know that the peopel who are around when the healing takes place need to see it so that they may praise God for it or understand that he had not forsaken them. what it he wants me to just let him to take up just as much room and influence in my life as when I'm in church or in fellowship with my Christian friends. If he is truely my Lord then there should not be a place on this earth where his reign does not reach me or commands are not heard and obeyed.

I want to follow God in every area of my life, but I'm tired of loosing. I'm so afraid of being labeled stupid that I'm paralyzed when God asks me to pray for healing for someone. I can talk to people about Jesus, without so much apprehension. healing is another thing. I have seen so much foolishness done in the name of healing that I just don't want to add to it.

jsut think about it. If I had prayed for that young man and God healed him, then I would have to explain what happened and talk to him and his mother about Jesus. what if i missed a really great opportunity to witness about God's love and concern and I just blew it?

If I'm going to be a priest who is dynamically in relationship with God then I first need to be a Christian who is dynamically in relationship with God. i don't want to just lead a service like some master of ceremony. I want to be involved in something more alive and everyday (vardaglig).

today was the Epiphany - or is it Whitsunday hmmmm - i just looked it up and it is the Epiphany or the 13th day of Christmas. It dates back to the 300's and has to do with the revelation of Jesus Christ to the world as represented by the visit of the Magii. This is the official end of the Christmas season.

don't let the ending of the Christmas season lock out the spirit of this season. It is a time of giving and thinking about the poor and the needy as well as a time for family and light. These are things that we are in desparate need of throughout the year.

Gudsfrid